Sunday, April 3, 2011

New project I'm working on. A complete detailed list of all the flaws in the human body.

So basically I want to be able to point out how inelegantly designed we are. (Un-intelligently too). (And yes I call dibs on "inelegant design", unless someone else thought of it first and no one liked it so it never caught on...) 

Here are some examples.

The throat. What kind of idiot would make food & liquid, and air go in the same tube? How many people have choked to death really? Sure we manage to get around it, but can you imagine being able to say, breathe while kissing or something? That would be nifty...

Breathing. Why do we need air at all? A lot of these questions are fair game. Remember god does not have to build us to certain specifications. He didn't have to follow any rules. He decided when he made us that we pretty much die 100% with no air for 5 minutes. He then exploited the weakness he gave us by drowning the entire planet.

Food. God made sure we have to kill to eat. Whether it be plants or animals. Why can't we get energy from the sun. Or friggin nothing. He's all powerful. He can create life that doesn't need to eat, he just didn't.

Teeth. These things need constant maintenance. Ever get a piece of chicken stuck in there overnight. You'll friggin know it in the morning. Then you have to use special tools to get it out. Teeth are in constant danger from ROTTING if we aren't very careful with them. Tooth pain is insanely painful. Damn I could do a whole book on teeth alone. Most people have too many teeth, and have to have some pulled. this is a huge thing because sometimes teeth can be pushed so out of place they're SIDEWAYS.

The eye. No protective shell whatsoever. The eye is EXTREMELY vulnerable to damage. Ever get orange, grapefruit, lemon, or anything like that squirted into your eye? Or soap? What about a stick? a thin layer of skin that can't even really block light is all we have. The way it actually works is baffling.  A leftover eyelid right by the nose. (You know the part that always seems to create sand?) We have to constantly blink or our eyes will dry out and I can't imagine the horror if we went a day, hell hour without blinking. then there's the fact that our eyes barely work. Can't see? Pray all you want, human ingenuity is your only actual hope though. How many people wear glasses or contacts? Really? Also, sunglasses. flashlights are kind of the anti-sunglass. Bright lights can make us blind, and low light well, we can't see in that either. I find it hilarious that the human eye is like, the poster boy of the ID guys, proof that god made us.

[Here's an interesting vid by the way. Enjoy](

The ears. Loud noises can break the ears. What is it called? Tinnitus? The ringing in the ears afflicts countless people. No amount of praying will help by the way. Deafness goes without saying.

So eyes and ears, two senses that can just flat out not work. and this isn't like, oh you got into an accident (at least not every time) Sometimes this is from birth. Or you'll be fine, then bam, oops you're going blind/deaf, too bad for you. Pray all you want it won't help.

Back. People often have back problems. Like, a LOT of people. Why is this? Well we're still new to walking on two legs. Once upon a time we walked on four. Then we probably started using our front legs to hold our food so we could eat it (Even squirrels do this). Then we probably got the bright idea to carry things around with our front legs, and bam, we're walking on two legs. Our horizontal spine now becomes vertical. Oh wait, I mean god made us exactly as we are today, he just did a poor job of it.

Blood and Heart- why do we need this crap? Oh and the food we eat (That we shouldn't NEED to eat) can clog your heart and make the blood not flow and you die fast.

The brain. this is a biggie, I'll touch on a few. First, sociopaths. Second, Well, think of all the other brain disorders. think of all the people that just have stuff wrong with the brain. Autism? Borderline personality? Schizophrenia? Hallucinations? The brain also loves to act up when it doesn't get enough air, or food and drink, or blood, or it get's too much of something. Oh and I'll end with... headaches!

Lungs- Ever had a bad cough? Yeah.

Nose. Ever had a bad cold? The sinuses alone can be a nightmare. good luck praying to got for relief. Also so easy to get broken.

Legs- it can be pretty easy to trip. Also the bottoms of feet are extremely vulnerable to things. Yeah I know they're sensitive so you can tell when you're stepping on something harmful like a spike, but if they were tougher you could step on broken glass and it wouldn't really bother you. good thing WE invented shoes eh? Let's do a test christians. I live in a state where the roads get VERY hot in the summer. You can pray to god all you want, and I'll wear shoes, then we'll see who can walk down the hot road the longest without falling to the ground in unbearable pain. and this isn't a dash over hot coals either, this is walking on a hot street.

Skin- Pretty easy to cut and bruise don'tcha think?

Immune system. Does an ok job most of the time. This is where god gets most of the credit too. If something heals on its own god gets TOTAL credit. But the body does try its best to heal up on it's own. Sometimes it succeeds. More often than not though, it can use a little help. and sometimes you're screwed because the immune system is totally inadequate. Sadly humans haven't figured everything out yet. And we never will if all our kids are told the human body is perfect any prayer can heal all ailments...

Tongue. Have you ever bitten your tongue? God, god, can't you give the tongue super healing powers or something? One mistake and you pay for it for at least a week. this goes for lips and the top and bottom of the mouth, and cheeks too. and the gums. All mouth injuries are hell. and ever burned your tongue?

That reminds me...

Sensitivity to heat. I hear idiot Christians who can't think say "The earth is the perfect temperature for us, we couldn't survive if it were any hotter or colder". "The earth is fine-tuned with us in mind" this makes me want to toss them either into a freezer and lock the door, or into a desert to bask in the sun for days. They're right, humans will die if it gets to hot or to cold. And we get uncomfortable if it gets even slightly too hot or cold. Extreme flaw in my book.

Ok well, this was just a sample, hope you enjoyed it. i'd love to hear more examples and comments on the ones I gave.