Friday, June 22, 2012

So I just had a bit of a dialog with my dad.

To say it'll be a lengthy read is an understatement, but I think it's worth posting.

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My first post. 


So after I wrote the last letter I clicked around and found an interesting article that I'll post in a sec.

It got me to thinking about various things. Like bias and all that stuff.

Bias is everywhere, especially in this modern world. Market research and propaganda and blatant lies and scare tactics are everywhere. I've seen it myself.

Just think about this. There's an evil dictator, he is just taking women and if people fight back they're killed. Think someone like Fidel Castro, if he fancied your wife, he would just send his men and take her. All the people in the whole kingdom or whatever, they all get together to overthrow this guy. They lose.

200 years later children are taught of the evil mob that tried to overthrow their dictators great great great grandfather. The greedy mob wanted more than the generous dictator could possibly offer and he bravely fought them off.

It's said that history is written by the victor. The facts don't always have to get in the way when there's no one left to correct you.

So things get cleaned up, white washed, sterilized. Things start looking more black and white.

Anyway, I think this is happening today, right in front of our eyes. The tyrant has gotten so powerful that he doesn't need 200 years to turn the heroic rebels into an angry horde. Not that I'm saying there's any one tyrant. I'm speaking in metaphors.

So basically you turn on the news and hear the news. But it's not that simple anymore.

Ever since Kennedy was killed things started changing. The news became more than just what happened. It became captivating. Then people with money went and offered some money to the news guys to say what they wanted them to say. So they start with a few positive spins here, and negative spins here.

Then things started getting political.

Now we're at a point where FOX News is totally 100% Right wing conservative, unquestionably. MSNBC tends to skew a bit to the left, and a bit more liberal, but not even close to as extreme as FOX is to the right. Then there's like, CNN which seems to be owned by the banks and is arguably just as bad as the others.

Here's a chart...

http://corporatemediaexposed.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/media_concentration.png

This leaves out the NBC chunk of the pie.

Basically NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN which is owned by AOL/Time Warner now, and FOX news are all untrustworthy. They have what's called corporate interests. They serve their rich owners. Now you can watch these guys but take everything they say VERY carefully.

For example. the thing that got me into this rant.

Obamacare.

Many people hated it before they even knew what it was. Because insurance companies hated it, and the companies that gave us our news hated it.

What is it, well here it is, put simply.

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What people call "Obamacare" is actually the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. However, people were calling it "Obamacare" before everyone even hammered out what it would be. It's a term mostly used by people who don't like the PPaACA, and it's become popularized in part because PPaACA is a really long and awkward name, even when you turn it into an acronym like that.
Anyway, the PPaACA made a bunch of new rules regarding health care, with the purpose of making health care more affordable for everyone. Opponents of the PPaACA, on the other hand, feel that the rules it makes take away too many freedoms and force people (both individuals and businesses) to do things they shouldn't have to.
So what does it do? Well, here is everything, in the order of when it goes into effect (because some of it happens later than other parts of it):
Already in effect:
  • It allows the Food and Drug Administration to approve more generic drugs (making for more competition in the market to drive down prices)
  • It increases the rebates on drugs people get through Medicare (so drugs cost less)
  • It establishes a non-profit group, that the government doesn't directly control, to study different kinds of treatments to see what works better and is the best use of money.
  • It makes chain restaurants like McDonalds display how many calories are in all of their foods, so people can have an easier time making choices to eat healthy.
  • It makes a "high-risk pool" for people with pre-existing conditions. Basically, this is a way to slowly ease into getting rid of "pre-existing conditions" altogether. For now, people who already have health issues that would be considered "pre-existing conditions" can still get insurance, but at different rates than people without them.
  • It renews some old policies, and calls for the appointment of various positions.
  • It creates a new 10% tax on indoor tanning booths.
  • It says that health insurance companies can no longer tell customers that they won't get any more coverage because they have hit a "lifetime limit". Basically, if someone has paid for life insurance, that company can't tell that person that he's used that insurance too much throughout his life so they won't cover him any more. They can't do this for lifetime spending, and they're limited in how much they can do this for yearly spending.
  • Kids can continue to be covered by their parents' health insurance until they're 26.
  • No more "pre-existing conditions" for kids under the age of 19.
  • Insurers have less ability to change the amount customers have to pay for their plans.
  • People in a "Medicare Gap" get a rebate to make up for the extra money they would otherwise have to spend.
  • Insurers can't just drop customers once they get sick.
  • Insurers have to tell customers what they're spending money on. (Instead of just "administrative fee", they have to be more specific).
  • Insurers need to have an appeals process for when they turn down a claim, so customers have some manner of recourse other than a lawsuit when they're turned down.
  • New ways to stop fraud are created.
  • Medicare extends to smaller hospitals.
  • Medicare patients with chronic illnesses must be monitored more thoroughly.
  • Reduces the costs for some companies that handle benefits for the elderly.
  • A new website is made to give people insurance and health information.
  • A credit program is made that will make it easier for business to invest in new ways to treat illness.
  • A limit is placed on just how much of a percentage of the money an insurer makes can be profit, to make sure they're not price-gouging customers.
  • A limit is placed on what type of insurance accounts can be used to pay for over-the-counter drugs without a prescription. Basically, your insurer isn't paying for the Aspirin you bought for that hangover.
  • Employers need to list the benefits they provided to employees on their tax forms.
8/1/2012
  • Any health plans sold after this date must provide preventative care (mammograms, colonoscopies, etc.) without requiring any sort of co-pay or charge.
1/1/2013
  • If you make over $200,000 a year, your taxes go up a tiny bit (0.9%)
1/1/2014
This is when a lot of the really big changes happen.
  • No more "pre-existing conditions". At all. People will be charged the same regardless of their medical history.
  • If you can afford insurance but do not get it, you will be charged a fee. This is the "mandate" that people are talking about. Basically, it's a trade-off for the "pre-existing conditions" bit, saying that since insurers now have to cover you regardless of what you have, you can't just wait to buy insurance until you get sick. Otherwise no one would buy insurance until they needed it. You can opt not to get insurance, but you'll have to pay the fee instead, unless of course you're not buying insurance because you just can't afford it.
  • Insurer's now can't do annual spending caps. Their customers can get as much health care in a given year as they need.
  • Make it so more poor people can get Medicare by making the low-income cut-off higher.
  • Small businesses get some tax credits for two years.
  • Businesses with over 50 employees must offer health insurance to full-time employees, or pay a penalty.
  • Limits how high of an annual deductible insurers can charge customers.
  • Cut some Medicare spending
  • Place a $2500 limit on tax-free spending on FSAs (accounts for medical spending). Basically, people using these accounts now have to pay taxes on any money over $2500 they put into them.
  • Establish health insurance exchanges and rebates for the lower-class, basically making it so poor people can get some medical coverage.
  • Congress and Congressional staff will only be offered the same insurance offered to people in the insurance exchanges, rather than Federal Insurance. Basically, we won't be footing their health care bills any more than any other American citizen.
  • A new tax on pharmaceutical companies.
  • A new tax on the purchase of medical devices.
  • A new tax on insurance companies based on their market share. Basically, the more of the market they control, the more they'll get taxed.
  • The amount you can deduct from your taxes for medical expenses increases.
1/1/2015
  • Doctors' pay will be determined by the quality of their care, not how many people they treat.
1/1/2017
  • If any state can come up with their own plan, one which gives citizens the same level of care at the same price as the PPaACA, they can ask the Secretary of Health and Human Resources for permission to do their plan instead of the PPaACA. So if they can get the same results without, say, the mandate, they can be allowed to do so. Vermont, for example, has expressed a desire to just go straight to single-payer (in simple terms, everyone is covered, and medical expenses are paid by taxpayers).
2018
  • All health care plans must now cover preventative care (not just the new ones).
  • A new tax on "Cadillac" health care plans (more expensive plans for rich people who want fancier coverage).
2020
  • The elimination of the "Medicare gap"
.
Aaaaand that's it right there.
The biggest thing opponents of the bill have against it is the mandate. They claim that it forces people to buy insurance, and forcing people to buy something is unconstitutional. Personally, I take the opposite view, as it's not telling people to buy a specific thing, just to have a specific type of thing, just like a part of the money we pay in taxes pays for the police and firemen who protect us, this would have us paying to ensure doctors can treat us for illness and injury.
Plus, as previously mentioned, it's necessary if you're doing away with "pre-existing conditions" because otherwise no one would get insurance until they needed to use it, which defeats the purpose of insurance.

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Here it is put another way.

Bob: Hi, insurance company. I'd like to buy some health insurance.
Insurance company: No. You had cancer when you were 3 years old, and the cancer could come back. We're not selling you health insurance.
Bob: It's not my fault I got cancer when I was three! Besides, that was years ago!
Insurance company: If we sell insurance to you, we'll probably lose money, and we're not doing it.
Bob: But I need insurance more than anyone! My cancer might come back!
Insurance company: We don't care. We're not selling you insurance.
Obama: Hey, that's totally not fair. Bob is right, he does need insurance! Sell Bob some insurance.
Insurance company: If we have to, I guess.
Mary: This is cool. Obama said the insurance company has to sell insurance to anyone who needs it.
Sam: Hey, I have an idea. I'm going to stop paying for health insurance. If I get sick, I can always go buy some insurance then. The insurance company won't be able to say no, because Obama's told them they have to sell it to anyone who needs it!
Dave: that's a great idea! I'm not paying for health insurance either, at least not until I get sick.
Insurance company: Hey! If everyone stops paying for insurance, we'll go bankrupt!
Obama: Oh come on Sam and Dave, that's not fair either.
Dave: I don't care. It saves me money.
Obama: Oh for god's sake. Sam, Dave, you have to keep paying for health insurance, and not wait until you're sick. You too, Mary and Bob.
Mary: But I'm broke! I can't buy insurance! I just don't have any money.
Obama: Mary, show me your piggy bank. Oh, wow, you really are broke. Ok, tell you what. You still have to buy insurance, but I'll help you pay 95% of the cost.
Mary: thank you.
Obama: I need an aspirin.
Insurance company: We're not paying for that aspirin.


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I can't find a single bit of that I disagree with. But the rich people don't like it. So they convince everyone that it is just the worst thing in the world. And it works.
So yeah, be careful. There's a lot of people out there trying to put things in our heads. And we tend to like to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals.
This can lead to very horrible things. the least of which being wrong, and having your wrong beliefs basically verified and "confirmed" as true through other methods. 


I try very hard to make sure I believe as many true things as possible. I do worry that I have strong opinions. When I see people that believe strongly things that I disbelieve strongly, instead of just thinking they're idiots, I pause and think. Then usually i decide that, yes I am right and they are wrong.

How do I do this? Lots of ways. I usually use logic, and my handy list of fallacies. I can usually look at someone I disagree with's beliefs and go over it bit by bit and diagnose the problem. I'll say "oh well here's his source of information, a bad study that was later thrown out, he's wrong because he's basing his opinion on outdated inaccurate information." That is one of the more forgiving examples.

Often people are just idiots that shoot from the him and don't think, at all. They believe things based on just, idiotic stuff. But if you can say, ok the guy who disagree's with me is wrong... and then stop and analyze your own beliefs, double checking them and then you can rest easy.
Now, being wrong is fine. People base their beliefs and opinions on all sorts of things. Like for example. The news media. They have heavy saturation and a lot of influence and sway. It can be pretty easy to just let down your guard and let someone else do the heavy lifting for you. Just hear something say "that sounds about right" and then move on with the new info.
And that would work if there weren't agendas and people out there deliberately trying to mislead us all. 

In the end you just have to have humility, and be prepared to re-evaluate any of your beliefs if they could be wrong. I'm sure you think there's an unspoken sub-text to all this, but well, everything means everything. I can't go putting ANY exceptions in there because nothing should be immune to critical thinking. If you feel the need to put any beliefs in a box to protect them from harm, those are probably the most likely things to be wrong.
I challenge my beliefs on an almost daily basis. I'm fairly certain I'm correct in every one of my beliefs.
But I am humble too.
For instance.
I believe.. uh, what's something that's not an opinion...
Ok I'll say I believe that there are no ghosts. I believe when people die, that's it, we're done. We are our brains. There's no spirit to float out of the body and haunt places. I have seen people present their evidence for the existence of ghosts. Some of the stories I've heard would be compelling if they could be verified, but they couldn't be. For me to believe that ghosts exist, I'd have to see some solid evidence.

Some are more willing to believe, and they can see the same evidence I dismiss as unsatisfactory, and go the other direction and well, that's fine I guess. But "you can't explain that!" doesn't mean "ghosts exist" it means I can't explain it. 
If you use logic, and be careful to avoid being persuaded by convincing fallacies you can make sure you don't believe any untrue things.

Ok this has gone on far too long. 



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His reply.



Dear Cory,

We all have a purpose in life.

Do you feel that your purpose (mission, goal, etc) is to advise others on how they should think, feel, live and breathe when you are still learning and have yet to experience so many things that life offers? It does seem hard to grasp that you are always attempting to tell me (and others) how wrong I am and how I should think and believe. As many great qualities as you have, you are not qualified to do so.

You are the only one you can change.

Life experiences qualify us. Formal Education can qualify us. Our track record also qualifies us.

When I show that I can pay my bills on time, the credit agencies see that I have been consistent and they listen to me when I say I want to borrow money for something worthwhile. However, when I have not been faithful or diligent to make the payments, they see me in another light. They say I am not qualified. Regardless of what I think, that is how they view me. I am the only one that can change this, by changing the way I do things.

It's kind of that way when we give advice, vent, preach, write (if we have an audience) or just talk to a friend. Some respect us and some don't. If I feel good about who I am and they don't, I can discount their opinion, who they are and disqualify them in my mind. I also can self reflect and decide that perhaps I am the one that needs to change the way I am going, thinking, etc. Every day, I have this option. The result is up to me where I wind up. I have my hand on the rudder of my life. I personally, have surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, and thank Him for saving me by His Blood on the Cross, forgiving my sins and directing my steps since that day in 1984 when you were just a few weeks old. That does not mean that I have total understanding of why things have happened, Cory or that I have always done right, but I know that my purpose is being fulfilled daily with His help. Even when I mess up, He is not overwhelmed by my mistakes. His plans even take this into account and are not set back due to my shortcomings.

Mankind is all of us. We all comprise it, and although it(humanity) does not define us or dictate who we are as individuals, it does historically establish what is the norm and what is acceptable. I totally understand that the age we live in is one where counterculture, extremism, hedonism, materialism, shock factor and "anything goes" seem to be in vogue. Regardless of what is said today, the majority of humanity still believes that we must produce something of worth. The essential materials each one of us have to offer are time, sweat, diligence and the desire to make things better for ourselves, our Family and others.

When you have these to invest and don't, quite honestly son, most people do not value your opinions as much. Being around other people on a daily basis is one aspect of work and life that helps to shape up to fit in and not be so confrontational (as we all can be at times). It's one thing to have your own opinions but some of them are not in line with what most people think and believe. I know that Einstein and other greats were not in the norm, but there was fruit from his work and it helped many people. He did not just write and tell others how they should live.

I know you do much more than this Cory, but I honestly do not want to have conversations that are always, seemingly trying to evoke a response out of me. My faith in God is stronger than anything you can ever say. Christ is the foundation of my life and I hope that one day you will experience His Love firsthand, rather than someone just telling you about Him as if He was millions of miles away. He is as close as our breath.

Regardless of how we differ, I always love you. It may not be shown in the way you want or deserve. I am sorry to ever let you down. One day, when you have a family of your own, you will understand how your wife (and smaller children) occupy most of your spare time and attention. That is never to say or even imply that you are less in my eyes and heart than the grand children. They are not able to sustain themselves and need us. My vocation requires so much time and yes, Karen and I like to spend time together too. That does not change the fact that I enjoy you and appreciate you and love you.

I would like to do things with you other than going to movies. I love the outdoors and treasure the camping trips we took years ago. Not sure about any supplies ( as I have none) but hope that maybe one day we could do this or something fun that does not place at odds with one another.

Thank you for writing and sharing. I hope you have a really great weekend and get a chance to do something fun!


Love, Dad



 
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My reply

Ok so I'll be writing a preface to what was the actual letter. There's always the fear of directness being mistaken for hostility.

As you may have noticed I have something resembling a minor mastery of the English language. I'm not as skilled with the quiver as I wish I was. I'll never be mistaken for Mark Twain or Shakespeare, but I do know how to get things down on paper. 

So yes, when I popped this email open to see the same familiar things, I was discouraged and I wrote harshly. I don't think that I should just whitewash those initial moments from history. Sometimes things aren't always so nice and delicately formal. I do try to present myself as something resembling civilized though.

Which raises the question. What do I do with this letter? I feel that it is deserving of a reply and I do, futilely perhaps, hope that the reply can do more good than my initial letter. A dialog was sparked, and I'd like to do something productive with the little flame.

So I'll be replying bit by bit, not to be argumentative, but because it is a good way to make sure I address every little bit. I do have to say that some of the stuff rubbed me the wrong way.

Also, if you could actually respond to things I write instead of blanket dismissal. Well, I'll get to that when the time comes.

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Ok so right from the start I may have to disagree.

"We all have a purpose in life."

I do not believe this. I object to the word "purpose". I could really go all day on this line alone. But saying something concisely is the sign of true mastery and understanding. It would be very, very easy for me to misrepresent my thoughts here.

Also I would ask, try not to knee-jerk dismiss what I'm going to say. I know you believe what you believe. I'm a bit more mailable, but I still have my convictions and standards. I just have to constantly re-evaluate mine to make sure I actually still believe what I used to believe.

Ok so, why do I object to the idea that we all have a purpose in life? Well it sort of suggests predestination. I don't believe in fate. It's very easy to look back and think that you've been walking along an ordered path. You can see the events of your life very clearly, one thing leading to another. Sort of like a timeline of past, present, and future. The past lead to the present, and similarly the future leads from the past. You can conclude that you were "supposed" to arrive at the point you're at now. that you were "supposed" to arrive at all the points in the past too. It only stands to reason that that would stretch into the future. In some sort of "I'm supposed to be standing outside of a club in Detroit at 7:26 pm on Thursday July 13, 2017", and everything between now and then will lead me to that point. The way of thinking allows you to find meaning and order in the chaos. Bad things suddenly happen in order for good things to happen, or something.

Like, yes I'm sitting here seemingly doing nothing. But hey, the path I took led me to survive. Maybe a different one would have killed me years ago. Maybe if I wasn't such a loser with the ladies I would have ended up marrying someone who wasn't right for me. Maybe if I had money it would turn me into a jerk. Maybe I need to be here for something.

To me though, everything is pretty much, well, structured randomness. There is order in that, things follow laws. If I tip over a glass of orange juice the liquid will spill out onto the table and if it gets to the edges, it'll pour, then drip onto the floor. If I try to clean it up with a paper towel, it will leave a sticky residue that will have to be cleaned in a more thorough manner. I also believe people have behavioral patterns. Like how most people tend to turn right when walking into a store. People have routines and quirks, and social etiquette. We have laws and rules to protect us from those that may not have as much empathy for others as most. We organize our things so we can find them when we need them.

We also form relationships. When you meet someone that you get along with, it can seem like you were just fated to meet. Like your life just wouldn't be complete without your "other half". I think this is all just hindsight though. We worked hard to get our civilization up and running, we're all for the most part raised in similar environments these days, to the point where it isn't TOO difficult to find at least one person you can get along with for the most part. We also sort of had this system going for a while where people would figure out what needs to be done then find people who can do that stuff.

So yeah. Uh, I don't think I have a purpose in life. I don't think anyone does.

What I'm not saying is that I believe in some sort of anarchy. I guess I'm saying I believe in free-will. Although that is another can of worms that no one can seem to agree on. I'm not even really sure what I believe on the matter. All I'm really saying is that I don't think I'm fated to do anything tomorrow. I will inevitably do SOMETHING unless I die in the next few hours, but I certainly don't believe that, well. I guess it all boils down to supernatural belief, again. I don't believe in any sort of deity so I don't believe that there's anything out there with a "plan" for any of us.

I would love to go out and make something of myself. But I don't believe that I'm fated to any more than I believe I'm fated not to. I either will or I wont based on both my actions, and a whole lot of variables and things that I can't control.

I don't believe in luck as an actual force, but it is a nice shorthand for random positive and negative outcomes that influence things.

This is pretty exhausting. I'm going to take a little break. You should take one too. I very much don't expect this to all be read in one sitting.


Ok, moving on.

"Do you feel that your purpose (mission, goal, etc) is to advise others on how they should think, feel, live and breathe when you are still learning and have yet to experience so many things that life offers?"
I don't think I have a purpose, so I can't exactly say yes to this. But advising people is something I'm good at. Whether or not I get a paycheck for it, I do feel like I am a teacher at my core. I like to learn, and I like to share what I've learned in a way that is easy to comprehend. I put a lot of effort into this stuff. I will NEVER be finished learning. There will always be more to experience than I could ever hope to get to. I don't think these things warrant dismissal. Any good teacher is also a student, first and foremost. 

"It does seem hard to grasp that you are always attempting to tell me (and others) how wrong I am and how I should think and believe. As many great qualities as you have, you are not qualified to do so."
I'm sorry that's how you perceive things. It's really quite hard to keep a cool head when insulting things like this are said. It would be interesting to see you actually respond to what I said instead of engaging on ad-hominem (personal) attacks. How can I really respond? You're saying my argument is flawed because I am incapable of making a valid argument. How do I move on from there? How am I not supposed to feel incredibly insulted?

"You are the only one you can change."
Not true. Not everyone is as stubborn, closed minded, and dismissive as you are. It may be true that I'll not be able to change your mind, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. I don't believe in fate, remember?

"Life experiences qualify us. Formal Education can qualify us. Our track record also qualifies us."
Argument from authority fallacy.

But I'll bite. My long hours of research, thinking, and learning to think qualify me. I have life experience, I have education, and I'm not sure what you mean by "track record", but when it comes to stuff like this, I'd say mine is pretty damn glorious. I am an intellectual. This is what I'm best at. I promised myself I wouldn't get hostile, but seriously. This is extremely insulting.

One last point you CAN learn a lot in a bubble. I'm not sure why you would just dismiss learning through observation. Learning through study. Learning through practice. There are so many ways to learn.

"When I show that I can pay my bills on time, the credit agencies see that I have been consistent and they listen to me when I say I want to borrow money for something worthwhile. However, when I have not been faithful or diligent to make the payments, they see me in another light. They say I am not qualified. Regardless of what I think, that is how they view me. I am the only one that can change this, by changing the way I do things."
I'm not really sure what you're getting at here.

I think you're trying to say that consistency breeds authority? Or something. But I don't think authority alone is a good determining factor. It's just a small variable. A filtration system really.

I really don't think it's an appropriate analogy. You can't compare philosophy with something like paying back debts.

"It's kind of that way when we give advice, vent, preach, write (if we have an audience) or just talk to a friend. Some respect us and some don't. If I feel good about who I am and they don't, I can discount their opinion, who they are and disqualify them in my mind. I also can self reflect and decide that perhaps I am the one that needs to change the way I am going, thinking, etc. Every day, I have this option. The result is up to me where I wind up. I have my hand on the rudder of my life. I personally, have surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, and thank Him for saving me by His Blood on the Cross, forgiving my sins and directing my steps since that day in 1984 when you were just a few weeks old. That does not mean that I have total understanding of why things have happened, Cory or that I have always done right, but I know that my purpose is being fulfilled daily with His help. Even when I mess up, He is not overwhelmed by my mistakes. His plans even take this into account and are not set back due to my shortcomings."
So is your point, that you don't respect me, and therefore my arguments are automatically invalid no matter what it is that I'm saying?

There is a fatal flaw you just highlighted. "If you don't like who someone is, then you can discount their opinion and disqualify them in your mind." To this I scream an emphatic "NO!". This is absolutely not how things should work. this is a dangerous and lazy shortcut. Giving more credibility to people who say things you like to hear, and dismissing those you can find fault with is just, a recipe for disaster.

I do agree that self reflection and course correction are important mental tools.

I'll ignore the religiousy stuff. Those are arguments for another day. I do have to say though, there is a big difference between something being true, and simply insisting that something is.

I would say there is no "why things happened" to have understanding of.

I don't fault you for the past as much as you seem to think I do. We both know you made some serious errors in judgement. Oh well. It's water under the bridge. Nothing can be done about all that stuff.

Try not to claim to have knowledge you don't actually have. If there's one thing that irritates me most about religious people in general, it's the consistent overuse of the word "know". Insisting that you know something, or that your beliefs are true, means nothing to me. You do not KNOW that your purpose is being fulfilled ect. You believe this. There's a drastic difference. It really screams of a lack of humility.

I understand that you believe you are absolutely correct, and that I'm just misguided and arrogant and possessed by multitudes of evil demons and just a vile horrible sinner who rejected the obvious truth of god. You believe I'm blind and in denial and rebellious all this other stuff. Your condescending tone is dripping with well, not contempt exactly, but just a superiority complex.

You believe that you are in possession of absolute truth, and anything that I think that doesn't match up, must be wrong. Any disparity or conflict puts you in the "correct" spot, and me in the "misguided" spot. And I'll agree that that may be true in certain instances. I will admit to being biased toward my own opinions, but only to an extent. And that is only because I think of myself as pretty good at this intellectual stuff. Put me into any other situation and you'll see how fast I'll admit I have no clue what I'm doing.

Ok another break is long past needed.


"Mankind is all of us. We all comprise it, and although it(humanity) does not define us or dictate who we are as individuals, it does historically establish what is the norm and what is acceptable. I totally understand that the age we live in is one where counterculture, extremism, hedonism, materialism, shock factor and "anything goes" seem to be in vogue. Regardless of what is said today, the majority of humanity still believes that we must produce something of worth. The essential materials each one of us have to offer are time, sweat, diligence and the desire to make things better for ourselves, our Family and others."

Mankind is all of us, I suppose that would necessarily be true if you label "us" as mankind.

I really worry about being unnecessarily critical. Or rather, about being perceived as such. You need to understand that I put a great deal of care into every word I write. (Not that I'm suggesting that you didn't.) I am fully aware that things tend to pile up and I am pretty long-winded. But I can't "pull my punches" either.

So yeah, normal is relative and who really cares about being normal anyway. It's sort of an ill defined concept. And there's really no way to say that without feeling like a nitpicker. I'm really not trying to find fault with everything here, I just don't necessarily think that being normal is the ideal, something to strive for, or even put much thought into. Next is, "acceptable". This is another loose term. Now I'm not going to go over the top and say that I don't care about whether or not something is socially acceptable. Of course I care about that. A lot more than whether or not I care about whether or not it's normal. But I accept that society can be wrong. Society can be VERY wrong. At the end of the day things boil down to what I think.


The way I see it, you have always had a pretty negative and fearful opinion of "the world". Counterculture (
a culture with values and mores that run counter to those of established society ) in and of itself isn't "bad". Extremism is something I would say you have a LOT more experience with than I do. Hedonism is also something I regret to say I have had nothing to do with. I do not believe in intrinsic good, therefore I can not believe that pleasure is the only one. Materialism, well there are two different meanings of the word, one that has to do with the acquisition of wealth as a primary life goal (I think we both accept that is not my primary Modus Operandi.) The other meaning would be the belief that all that exists is matter and energy. This is actually pretty close to what I believe. Although I'd have to do more looking into it. Shock factor is a meaningless term to me, and anything goes is a far less common mentality than you would believe. Everyone has their own personal values.

Then you basically once again say I suck for not having a job.


"When you have these to invest and don't, quite honestly son, most people do not value your opinions as much. Being around other people on a daily basis is one aspect of work and life that helps to shape up to fit in and not be so confrontational (as we all can be at times). It's one thing to have your own opinions but some of them are not in line with what most people think and believe. I know that Einstein and other greats were not in the norm, but there was fruit from his work and it helped many people. He did not just write and tell others how they should live."

   
Which of my opinions are "not in line with what "people" think and believe"? Why do they believe differently? How did they come to those conclusions? I don't concern myself with what Einstein thought about this or that. I think he was a very smart guy and he is one to look up to.

"I know you do much more than this Cory, but I honestly do not want to have conversations that are always, seemingly trying to evoke a response out of me. My faith in God is stronger than anything you can ever say. Christ is the foundation of my life and I hope that one day you will experience His Love firsthand, rather than someone just telling you about Him as if He was millions of miles away. He is as close as our breath."
You have your hopes and I have mine.

"Regardless of how we differ, I always love you. It may not be shown in the way you want or deserve. I am sorry to ever let you down. One day, when you have a family of your own, you will understand how your wife (and smaller children) occupy most of your spare time and attention. That is never to say or even imply that you are less in my eyes and heart than the grand children. They are not able to sustain themselves and need us. My vocation requires so much time and yes, Karen and I like to spend time together too. That does not change the fact that I enjoy you and appreciate you and love you."
I'm not sure how confident I am that I'll ever have a family. Of course I want one but, well the odds don't seem to be in my favor.

"I would like to do things with you other than going to movies. I love the outdoors and treasure the camping trips we took years ago. Not sure about any supplies ( as I have none) but hope that maybe one day we could do this or something fun that does not place at odds with one another."
There is a sort of mentality that the older generation has. Grandaddy especially. The sort that just doesn't deal with problems. Great rifts form and just go ignored. I would like to keep the line of communication open. You want to slam it shut.

If we're going camping it would be prudent to just get a cabin. May cost a bit more but it would save on buying and lugging around supplies. And no setting up the tent would be necessary either.

Ok I think I covered everything and then some.






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(The original letter I wrote)


So, long story short, you don't value my opinions because I don't have a job. Good to know.

I guess I should have expected that you'd have no love for philosophy, and look at thinking as a waste of time.

You seem to be associating unrelated things, and then using my lack of the first to dismiss the second.

I don't care anymore, really. 

I could pick this apart. (My beliefs aren't "in line" with what the majority thinks? Good thing being what the majority thinks is irrelevant to whether or not something is true or false. So is the age and background of the speaker.)

If you're going to be dismissive and utterly lack humility, then yeah.

There is so much to discuss but your mind is locked like a steel trap. You think this is a good thing. I wish I could explain to you why it isn't.


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His reply


Cory,

Your adversarial response was exactly what I was writing you that I have no need of or interest in engaging in. I am not afraid of you or your beliefs.

Put your mind to good use. I was not criticizing you for not having a job. Being a self proclaimed genius does not qualify you to put everyone in their place.

Not interested in further dialogue for the sake on calling it communication. I am also not interested in footing the bill for anything that would only make you more dependent on others.

Love you and wish for better life for you. That life does not have to be what i want it to be but this dialogue seems pointless.

Best,

Dad


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My replies

Well, I tried.

Have fun with your imaginary friends. 
 
 
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Ok that last reply was rude.

I know you think that all these fictional things are real. I shouldn't have lashed out like that.

It's just frustrating that you are choosing your delusions over me. And when did I ever ask you for money?

Oh, and I'm not a self proclaimed genius, I'm the real deal.
 
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Ok I'm fairly certain no one would want to read this after all. But I'll post it anyway. 

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