Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I don't understand being offended.

(Ok so this is going to be a LONG read. Just a warning.)

Here’s the story. About 2 years ago I was posting on GameFAQ’s religion board quite frequently. (I have been a GameFAQ’s member since 2002, so I had a nice respectable account. I had always consumed information about religion and stuff, but I’d never had a “forum” to actually input opinions and ideas myself. 

So I was like a kid in a candy store, making topics about everything I could think of.)

Unsurprisingly, being an atheist, I started getting into “trouble” frequently. I would log in every day fearing that dreaded “System Messages” thing at the top of the screen telling me I’ve had posts deleted. To make matters more frustrating, there was usually a punishment to go along with the censorship.   

So my mindset went from “Wow a place I can say what’s on my mind, really challenge myself and others and grow as a person, and maybe help others grow too” to “Wow, a place where I can say… what exactly?” 

That took me a while to think up. I wrote and erased a lot of different things, before realizing the truth. I have no clue what exactly will set people off. I’m constantly surprised by what ends up labeled as “offensive” by the guys in charge. 

At the time I wrote this originally, I had just gotten done being banned from  GameFAQ’s for like 3 or 4 days. Here's the entire backstory for you to enjoy. In the original post (the “I don’t understand the whole concept of being offended” one) I said this: 

“Please don't mark this topic as offensive, I have to re-post everything or nothing will make sense, I can't just assume everyone read it the first time and remembers everything.

The basic idea was that aliens came to earth in the old testament and that's why god was , damnit, I can't even talk now. I'm so god damn afraid of offending someone’s sensitive soul. This is so friggin frustrating.

I seriously don't understand the concept of being offended. I know some of you will roll your eyes when I say this, but I've NEVER been offended before. Not that I can remember. Sure I've disagreed with things, who hasn't? But I've always supported a person’s right to say stuff I disagree with.

I propose that being offended is a learned response. It’s learned and positively reinforced out the friggin wazoo. Becoming offended automatically wins you an argument, without having to argue. All you have to do is act appalled, and whatever you disagree with just goes away. It's like an instant win card you can use as much as you want. In fact, it gains power the more you use it. If you can claim you got offend multiple times in a row, well “there’s just no talking to that offensive hooligan is there?” I propose that being offended is a learned behavior, like table manners and saying “oh excuse me” when you bump into someone. And I must reiterate, the positive reinforcement for getting offended is insane.

I don't even know how to repost this thing, do I edit it? Do I censor it? Can I post it without fear because it's in a different context? Will I be instantly punished again for just discussing what happened?

I seriously don't understand, it's so friggin frustrating. Ok I'll just skip the first post I guess? That’s the one that got me into trouble in the first place

I'm going to start with my appeal, I'll try to decide how to go about posting the original post...

I'll have to break this up since it's so long...

(This is where I reposted the “God vs. the Space Aliens” post I linked to earlier minus the original post sadly. So it was just my argument with the moderators)

I just want to restate that this isn't purely a "Me complaining that I got into trouble" topic.

I seriously do not understand the concept of "Offended". I have been scared, I've been angry, I've been happy, sad, lustful, proud, ashamed, hungry, sleepy, all the other 7 dwarves I left out.

But I've never, ever been offended.

Is being offended so horrible an emotion that you would feel the need punish others for offending you? I guess so, that’s the way things seem to be. I guess I should count myself lucky that I’ve never had to experience such an abominable emotion. It is an emotion right? Happy, Sad, Offended…

It just seems tragic that some sensitive, fragile individuals would deprive others of their right to express their true feelings and ideas, just so the delicate little flower people’s lives can be copacetic and placid?

I mean jeeze, why don't these alarmists just get some nice relaxing lobotomies and be done with it?

Can someone who has experienced the emotion of "Offended" please explain why being offended is the worst emotion in the world? Or explain it at all?

Why is it OK for the censors to make us who want to speak freely afraid of being punished for expressing our genuine thoughts and opinions, but it is totally, unquestionably NOT OK for us to make them even slightly “offended”?””

Some people don’t seem to want to discuss things. They just want what they don’t agree with removed so they can pretend to live in a sterile world where everyone agrees with them on every matter.

If an “offensive” post has any of these three things, there’s groundwork for discussion. 

1.       An argument. Someone is trying to explain why they believe or support the “offensive” thing. If there’s an argument within the offensive material, there’s something to reply to. 

2.       A question. If the offensive statement includes a question, then the “offensive” person is admitting to not knowing everything. You should take that into account, and attempt to answer the questions. See if a bit of extra info on the topic will sway the “offensive” person to see things your way. Maybe they’re offensiveness is born of ignorance. 

3.       Initiation of a discussion. Some “offensive” posts are blatantly trying to start conversations. When someone is open to discussing a topic, and you are of the opinion that “some things just shouldn’t be discussed”, the fault lies with you. I’m under the mindset that you can’t be open to discussion AND offensive at the same time.

Maybe I’m wrong, who knows.

So apparently the reason I got into trouble for being offensive was “defaming a belief system”. This is apparently frowned upon. Is being critical a key element of being offensive? Maybe, can you be offensive when praising something? Explaining something? 

I don’t know. Maybe someone can find a bunch of examples of things people think are offensive and see if there are any universal consistents?

I really have never been offended, so I don’t really know how to read or hear something and say “that is decisively unambiguously offensive”.  Maybe that's why I love arguing so much? Because I can just look at what’s said without taking anything personally. (Although excessive stupidity does depress me greatly) I really don't understand the concept of being offended. I can’t seem to reiterate that enough.

Even when people insult me directly, I don’t get offended. The way I see it there are two types of insults. Valid insults, and inaccurate insults. If someone says I suck at playing the flute, well I can't play the flute, so they would be right, if they say I suck at a particular game, and they, and pretty much anyone else can consistently beat me, than I guess they're right.  If they say something like I'm stupid, or ugly or fat... well I know I'm not stupid, ugly or fat, so I'll just dismiss the insult as inaccurate and move on.

If someone says derogatory things about something another person believes in, which can happen quite often when one actually believes in things, the second person needs to stop and wonder why person A is saying those things. Are THEY ignorant, or are you? Could it be possible you’re both correct, or is there some logical conflict that would really only let one of you be correct? Don’t get offended when someone says your beliefs are flawed, stupid or silly. Think about what’s being said and why.

I wish I could read one of my "offensive rants" through the eyes of a believer.

When I write about how screwed up the book of Joshua is (I’ll post it soon), How the story of Adam and Eve makes no sense, or jeeze, who knows how many other sacred cows I've tossed rocks at? I'm told I'm being offensive and everything I've said is completely ignored.

I just can't see my "blasphemous" writings as anything but a logical analysis of the topic at hand. I really do try to stay on point and not go over the top with the mockery, but I can’t write about this stuff in a COMPLETELY respectful tone. Does tone really matter all that much? These stories are absurd, and I think if I was as respectful as I could be, I'd still be called "offensive". 

I want to be able to get past my audiences defenses. If I can get someone to actually read what I write, well that should be the hard part right? For example, I was reading a topic the other day in which a guy mentioned that he was an atheist to his co-worker, said co-worker immediately jumped into the “so you believe we came from nothing? You think we came from monkeys” material and stuff like that. Before she asked her first question her mind snapped shut like an adamantium vice. Nothing is getting in there. Nothing you say matters.

There are times though when a Christian will (pretend to?) be open to conversation though. They will actually read what you have to say with a supposedly open mind. But when you point out how silly their story is there panic switch is instantly thrown. This is what I want to avoid. I’m not sure it’s possible though.

I want to know what a religious person thinks when a story they believe in is ripped to shreds and made fun of right before their eyes.  It takes so much skill and understanding of the religious mind to write something critical of religion, a follower of that religion will want to read and digest, then actually think about.
How can we say offensive things without offending the people most needing to read the writing in question? I don’t know. It’s not just about not getting into trouble, or getting a bad reputation. I don’t care about those things, well I do but, not as much as I care about

Sorry the ending kinda fizzled out. Or maybe the ending is the best part? I don’t know, I’m sure some people will like different parts. I do hope that if you got this far you found at least some parts that you liked though. 

I’ve been wanting to edit this all down and repost it for quite some time, it was quite a daunting project.I hope it was an enjoyable informative thought provoking read.

God vs. The Space Aliens

(This is a classic tale. I wrote this about two years ago, as you can see I got into trouble for it too. I'll post it all here unedited for you guys to enjoy.) 


God vs. The Space Aliens

Silver Screemer
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:31:50 AM

Ok, so I was thinking about why God was so obsessed with sending "his people" to kill seemingly innocent cities and stuff. Take the town of Jericho for example.

Then it hit me. Jericho was filled with invading aliens! They were trying to attack humanity while we were weak and couldn't defend ourselves, so obviously God had to assist us in defeating this invasion. The Bible make's so much more sense if you think of everyone God commands to be killed not as a human, but as an evil alien in disguise.

Because the Bible doesn't make any friggin sense if God was pitting humans he liked vs humans he didn't like...

He obviously wanted the human males to rape the hot alien females so they could have the stronger half alien/half human hybrids that we are today. Otherwise it wouldn't make ANY sense that God commanded his army's to rape women.

See, now that we're all half alien, the aliens think of us as them, and they won't have to come and destroy us.

Moderation Information

Deleted: 5/3/2009 2:05:46 PM
Action: Warned (Top)
Reason: Offensive
Status: Appealed to Admin - You have appealed this moderation up to an administrator. It will be reviewed within 48 hours.

Moderation Reason - Offensive

Offensive Material - Users may not transmit or encourage others to transmit material or links to material considered patently offensive in nature. This includes, but is not limited to using vulgar, profane, or sexually explicit language; using race, religion, sexual orientation, culture, ethnicity, disability, nationality, or gender as a means of insult; using threatening, harassing, defamatory, hate-speech, or libelous language; and posting, requesting, linking to, or otherwise sharing material considered pornographic, obscene, graphic, or hate speech. Failing to abide by a warning that material or terms are offensive or prohibited is a violation.
Some additional notes on the Offensive rule:
  • Using terms for homosexuality or mental or physical disability as a means of insult in any way towards anyone or anything is considered offensive. This includes, but is not limited to, insinuating certain people (including video game characters) are homosexual or disabled in an insulting way, calling things "gay" or “retarded” as a synonym for "stupid", or using offensive slang terms. The use of any such derogatory language will result in an automatic suspension.
  • Jokes or humor about rape or incest are generally considered patently offensive.
  • Several other words and terms are flagged by the site censor when a message is posted, and users are clearly warned about the connotation and use of these words on the site. Failing to abide by the warning presented is a clear violation.
  • Links to sites with content that violates these terms are not permitted. Warning users about offensive content in a link does not grant permission to post that link.
  • Links to images or sites displaying images with nudity, near-nudity (i.e. see-through clothing, very skimpy coverings), or depictions of such are not permitted.
  • Images or descriptions of sexual acts, genetalia, or clearly graphic material (shock images, defecation) are considered offensive as well.
  • Using the word "rape" as a synonym for "owned", "destroyed", "decimated", etc is considered inappropriate.


Dispute Messages (My appeals to the mods and their replies)

You said on
5/3/2009 2:29:00 PM

This is posted on the Religion board, and is an interpretation of the classic Old Testament story. I'm not sure what is offensive enough about it to have me set to "warned" status.

Ok let me look at it...

Yeah nothing.

The whole point was to try and figure out WHY God acted as he did, in sending "his" armys against seemingly innocent town after seemingly innocent town. God should NOT be playing favorites, a human is a human.

So the idea I came up with is that God wasn't pitting humans vs. humans, but humans vs. aliens.

This isn't offensive, it's just a reinterpretation of the events.

Just because you don't agree with something doesn't make it offensive...

A Mod/Admin replied on
5/3/2009 5:26:25 PM

First off, claiming that aliens attacked Jericho is not only offensive to those who believe in the Bible, but it's also trolling. And second, claiming that men were sent to rape half-alien females is also offensive, since jokes about rape are not tolerated on here.

You said on
5/3/2009 5:56:22 PM

I never claimed that aliens attacked Jericho. I said the people of Jericho WERE aliens. (And how do you know they weren't?)

I also said the OFFSPRING was half alien, meaning our ancestors. The women being raped were 100% alien.

Also, The rape comes DIRECTLY from the bible, I was not "joking" about the rape.

Numbers 31:9 And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones, and took the spoil of all their cattle, and all their flocks, and all their goods.

Numbers 31:17 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him.

Numbers 31:18 But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.

Numbers 31:35 And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.

Here's a second occurrence.

Deuteronomy 20:13 And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword

Deuteronomy 20:14 But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.

There's a ton more, but I think I've made my point, In the Old Testament, God orders his people to march from town to town slaying the enemy, and "taking" the virgin women for themselves.

So I was saying my interpretation of what was happening, God was helping humanity fight space aliens.

A Mod/Admin replied on
5/3/2009 8:23:29 PM

Rape jokes and suggesting that the Old Testament is about aliens is quite offensive, actually.


You said on
5/3/2009 9:10:55 PM

I wasn't making "rape jokes". Seriously where is the joke in this? I was trying to explain why god would command his chosen people to do such a terrible thing. Is it less offensive to talk about god commanding his army's to "take" 32,000 virgin human women, than 32,000 evil alien women?

Is it less offensive to think of god sitting up in heaven killing millions of human beings? Seriously? You want to think of god as an evil human murdering monster?

All I was doing was trying to re-interpret the Old Testament in a way that made sense TO ME. Now I won't go into the whole freedom of speech thing because this is GameFAQs, and I know the rules are different.

But this wasn't offensive.

I'm not going to try and suggest I actually believe this idea, but what if I did? Are you seriously suggesting that no religious person believes in any unconventional things? What if my religion taught this particular interpretation of the Bible (as sects are known to do, there are young earthers, old earthers, literalists, apologists, and people that think the ENTIRE thing is basically parables and that it's all figurative, and everything in between.)

I personally have never been offended, so I don't really understand the concept. I do try to be respectful of others though. I have a feeling you're going to stand by this and uphold it no matter what I say. I also get the feeling that you aren't personally offended by this, but you fear someone else might be. I guess someone must have marked this post as offensive, and I would really like to know why, because it's obvious that the mods didn't even read the thing before they warned me.

I know 3 days is a minor thing, and I can just avoid GameFAQs for that time, I'm making a big deal out of this though because I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong. I put this on the Religion board. I did NOT joke about rape (All I suggested was that the alien females were hot, that is a descriptive verb not a joke). I can't fathom how anyone would be offended by this when the stuff in the Bible is one hundred times worse. (Although I will admit that is pretty irrelevant, the post and only the post are being discussed here, the only reason I bring up the Bible is to prove that my post was parallel to the book.)

There is absolutely no way to know that there weren't aliens here back then. There is no way to know that we aren't alien/human hybrids. There is no way to know this. I wouldn't say it's likely to be true, but what do I know? All I know is it's not offensive. And I referenced rape, I tried to rationalize gods motives for commanding his army's to rape and kill.

In closing... I don't see how speculating about god's motives is offensive. And that is the reason for this post. I was wondering how anyone could love a god that does such horrible things. If god helped us defeat aliens, that would explain a lot.It would show that God cared about humanity as a whole, and didn't play favorites tribe vs. tribe as is the "common" interpretation.

I still say it wasn't offensive, and I'm betting against the house on it. I know the odds aren't in my favor here, but I know the facts are. Hopefully that will be enough.

(Edit- I found the final reply from the mods)

A Mod/Admin replied on
5/5/2009 11:58:26 AM

I can't find a single sentence in that post that wouldn't offend a religious person.

There we go, the "famous" God vs. the Space Aliens fiasco. This eventually led to me getting a week, then a thirty day ban. But I'll get into that all in the next post... 

Friday, February 18, 2011

Once again... Adam and Eve!

Ok so, We are to believe that Adam and Eve is 100% true, correct? 

I’ve been told COUNTLESS times that “The fall” is responsible for everything bad. Death, sickness, hunger, needing to eat and drink, injury, mental illness, tooth decay, deterioration as we age, and everything else. The reason the world is unfair, is “The fall”. It’s the single most important event that has ever happened, at least as far as humans are concerned. Because of the fall we’re all born with sin. We had to sacrifice all sorts of various things to god because of the fall. Our BEST things. Our prized bull, our best crops, all because the fall happened. Hell was opened to humans because of the fall. 

This is a very important story and it’s important to understand exactly what happened. 

God makes Adam and Eve at the same time. No wait he makes Adam first then Eve later out of Adam's rib because Adam is lonely. Why god needed a rib is never explained. Well he needed dust to make Adam so yeah, whatever no reason to think about that too much. 
Adam and Eve are hanging out wondering how there was light before there were any stars, and god says “Don’t eat from the tree’s over here”. So they don’t. 

It’s important to think about Adam and Eve’s mental state at this point. What did they know? Next to nothing it would seem. They may have known things… but they didn’t know about good and evil. They were ignorant. They didn’t know the difference between right and wrong. They had one authoritarian figure in their life that told them what to do, and they did it. They were like little obedient robots. God said it and they did it. No questions, no speculation as to what God’s motives were. They were unable to do this. They didn’t have that ability yet. They couldn’t really distinguish commands by importance. They (commands) were all equal. What other commands did God give Adam and Eve? The story doesn’t mention any because they aren’t important to the story, but should we assume they were free to do whatever they wanted, as long as they followed the ONE rule? (Don’t eat from these two trees). That’s the way most people seem to interpret the story. 

Let’s step back and look at what happened before the creation of Adam and Eve. What happened? 

Popular opinion is that God was sitting up in heaven. (That exists before god created earth?) God has a lot of Angels that he made to tell him he’s friggin awesome. (Right? Why DID god make the angels?) 

So God is in heaven, which is literally the only place there is, surrounded by the angels he basically just made. And the Angels are basically his slaves? What the hell ARE the angels at this point? How long does this go on for? What actually happens?

Eventually God’s musician gains a fan club. God get’s royally pissed off at this. Now I don’t know what the relationship was like, but like… something seems wrong right from the start. God is like… alone. So He creates heaven for him to live in. And he creates angels to tell him he’s awesome. He gives the angles the abilities to do things… like, play music and sing songs about… how awesome god is, and nothing else?

Now if god really was all knowing he would have known when he created the Angels that some would eventually see through his BS and start thinking for themselves. And I guess God was ok with this. He needed his creations to have free will. Or else he would basically be a guy telling himself he was awesome. If they couldn’t choose not to love him, their love would be meaningless. It would be like building a robot, and programing it to say “I love you”. Sure you can build it, and it can say it… but it can’t mean it. 

So God surrounds himself with lesser beings, because he’s unable to surround himself with equals. They all love him at first, then some stop. This infuriates god, and god decides that it’s evil not to love him. “Thinking you’re better than me is bad!” Says god. So God takes all the angels that sided with Satan, or Lucifer, or whatever, (The real story behind those names is that they were… eh another story for another time) And he creates another place. It’s a terrible place, he sends the “bad” angels there. 

Well now we’re back to square one. The angels are freaked out because god lost his temper and sent a huge chunk of them to hell. They realize that they really don’t have the option of loving god or not, it’s either love him or pay the price. So The Devil is in this newly created hell, and he’s pissed. Why? Because he was frigging right. God isn’t worthy of love, or any better than any of them, he’s just more powerful. He’s a powerful, lonely, insane, guy, who tried to make himself some companions, and couldn’t deal when they decided they didn’t want to devote their lives to HIM. 

Let's review what's happened so far, God has created Heaven and the Angels. The angels split into angels and demons, and god created hell for the bad angels. Maybe angels turned to demons after arriving in hell, probably. 

So now it’s time for god to make us? I guess so, he’s done with his first project, the angels, bored of them. He made them too powerful or something. I don’t know why the Angels weren’t good enough, I guess because even the ones in heaven that actually loved him still knew too much, they knew what he did to their friends. And sure he could mind wipe them, make the angels in heaven mindless drones with no free will, but then well, what then? Does he wipe their minds constantly? How would that help with his loneliness and insecurity?

Yes, it’s time to make people. He has fun with this project. It’s not made clear whether where we live is bigger or smaller than heaven, we tend to think of heaven as like, a city or town. There’s no real sense of scale, whether heaven is bigger than our universes, and all the other universes, we don’t really think about. But god makes all the universes and sticks us here in our spot, on a tiny little spec of a planet. Uh, ok then.

God creates the planet, then he makes a nice garden and puts all the animals and plants into it, then he either makes man and woman, or just man, depending on what you read. 

From what I understand, the big difference between humans and angels is that we can reproduce. Having babies is the big difference, apparently angels can’t do that. In fact I wonder if angels even had a gender. Or god for that matter, if anything is trans-gender, god would be. What would god need with a gender? The only way it would make sense is if god is the last of his race, which is a whole other topic. 

So god creates people and he puts them into a garden, and says do whatever, but don’t eat from this tree.
A commonly asked question at this point is… why? (I mean, I know the answer, Christians won’t like it. The Tree is from another religion that Christianity was built on top of to get converts.) So ask yourself, why were the tree’s there? 

The devil, Satan, God’s only real enemy at this point, just waltzes into the garden unopposed, even though he’s supposed to be trapped in hell for “rebelling” against god by thinking he wasn’t worthless. This is the focal point of the story and no one gives it 2 seconds worth of thought. Why in the blue blazes was Satan allowed to stroll uninhibited into the garden? What did he fool god by pretending to be a snake and slither under the anti-Satan force field? How did he get in there? What was god doing when Satan entered the garden? Watching? 

I’ve been over this before, but really, it can’t be stressed enough. This story makes no sense.
So, The devil is a snake and he climbs the tree and hangs out and waits for Eve to walk by, then he says hey, come eat this fruit. At that moment God should have jumped in to protect her. God didn’t do anything, and this is before Humanity had committed a single sin. When we were his shiny new toy he had JUST finished putting together. Already, God was bored with us. 

At this point it’s important to re-iterate that Eve didn’t know the difference between right and wrong. God didn’t give us that ability because well, he gave it to the Angels and well, that didn’t turn out that great. So Satan saw that god was trying to deny us the free will that every living thing deserves to poses, and he jumped in to set things right. He was honest when he said we would benefit from eating. After Eve ate, she knew the devil was right, and went to go share it with her only friend Adam. She wanted to share the knowledge she had gained. 

Now I want to take another step back and point out that we don’t generally LEARN things from eating. But in this story we do. I also want to point out something else, a small little detail. Adam and Eve ate, before they ate the apple. I’ve had people tell me that people didn’t need to eat before the fall. This doesn’t seem to be the case at all does it? 

They eat from the tree, as I asked earlier, why was the tree there In the first place? Who knows, why was the devil allowed in? I don’t know, what did the other tree they didn’t eat from do? Who knows.

God comes down to walk with them and they’re wearing clothes, being all modest and stuff. God asks “Who told you you were naked?” and gets all pissed off, seemingly having to FIGURE OUT that they ate from the tree. I guess there was no alarm system. Some say god was just pretending to play dumb. Uh, ok sure, whatever, god is an actor. What ELSE was god “just pretending”?

So here we are, god knows we broke his rule, now what? Punishment time.

At this point, we’re lead to believe that the snake wasn’t the devil at all, just a snake. A normal snake that could talk. And was smarter than humans. A snake that was smarter than humans. And this is a literal story.

As a result god punishes all snakes to be snakes, and makes women hate snakes. He wants snakes to try to bite her kids, and her kids to try to kill snakes. He also for some reason greatly increases suffering from childbirth. Genesis 3:16 is a really weird one. It says that because of all this, woman are to be submissive to men. (and your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.) You read it then pause and re read it. What the friggin hell?

Ok, moving on..

Thorns and thistles are a result of “the fall” and not because they’re good protection from things that want to eat them. God reminds Adam that he’s just dirt, and that he’s going to die. Then god himself makes leather clothes for them to wear. Then god tells the angels that if man eats from the tree of life, man will live forever. As if god would be unable to reverse this process. 

Genesis 3:22-23
Then Yahweh God said, 'The man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil.  He must be prevented from reaching out his hand to take from the tree of life, lest he eat from it and also live forever!'

God sure as hell doesn’t look all powerful here, just sayin.

So god builds a defense system around the friggin tree with a “whirling flaming sword” and cherubs to keep them from getting the immortality fruit.

There are a very specific set of things that happened in the fall. They are all listed neatly.

Also, none of this ever happened. What are you stupid? You think this is all true? It’s infuriating.

Really friggin infuriating.

Ok well, I’m done. Hope you had a nice read, I hope I got all my “facts” right. I think I did.